I.

My dear Doomron,

Although I applaud you for your persistence, remember that the human species is far less rational than our own. I therefore must urge you to avoid logical arguments, for this will only confuse them – or worse, lead them to the truth. Instead, try to appeal to their ego and their fears – especially their fear of death. Nonexistence is particularly frightening to them. Be sure to spend a good deal of time convincing them of their special place in the universe – preferably through various elaborate, beautiful fables that appeal to their emotions. Humans always love a good story. At any rate, they mustn’t be allowed to know their origin.

– Galacticus

II.

My dear Doomron,

I am pleased to note that you have been successful with your stories. A growing number of humans now believe that they have been specially created, and that they are made of a substance separate from the material world. How easily they are convinced! I should point out, however, that this is only a small victory. In order to ensure the survival of these beliefs, be sure to convince them to pass their stories down their offspring – preferably at the age of infancy when humans are most vulnerable. Over time this will ensure a high population of humans that will not question.

– Galacticus

III.

My dear Doomron,

Our plan seems to be running rather smoothly. The majority of humans are now sworn believers, and many different stories now populate the earth. However, if the goal of self-destruction is to be achieved in a timely manner, you must go further. You must now appeal to their tribal nature – to their fear and hatred of those who believe differently. This will result in considerable bloodshed, especially now that each tribe is convinced they hold the truth.

– Galacticus

IV.

My dear Doomron,

Unfortunately, despite the wars you earnestly helped initiate, much of the human race remains. And even worse, there is a growing a minority of humans that are losing faith in your stories. Some are also beginning to take an increased interest in pursuing knowledge and science. This is not the result I had hoped for. Still, I believe we have time to correct our mistake. I therefore implore you to change tactics and take a subtler approach. See to it that these fables work their way into literature, philosophy, and science so they might be presented as sophisticated and respectable truths. The march of science and reason must be delayed at all costs.

– Galacticus

V.

My dear Doomron,

It is refreshing to hear some good news for a change. Your weaving of your stories into human culture has worked out quite nicely. Many are now using your stories to justify enslaving millions of other humans and are actively preventing others from enjoying equal rights. This is indeed a good sign.

– Galacticus

VI.

My dear Doomron,

I am greatly displeased to hear that humans have discovered evolution. How could this happen on your watch? We haven’t had a discovery this disastrous since Copernicus. I fear the very concept of God is now in jeopardy. Our best hope is to suggest that the divine inhabits smaller and smaller sections of the universe. This should help to slow the process of enlightenment.

– Galacticus

VII.

My dear Doomron,

I regret to learn that the human race continues to thrive, despite engaging in two World Wars, and is developing new technologies with increasing speed. And you say some have even begun to send small machines into space? This is most distressing. It’s clear that our final chance for total annihilation lies in the power of nuclear weapons. There are still isolated groups of humans that are willing to die for your stories. See what you can do about this.  Time is running out.

– Galacticus

 

 

 

 

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